40. Forty Blocky One Two Three

In a few hours I will make connections and break isolation. I am very restless.

A strange thing happened today, my machine crashed and wouldn’t start up. The only time this has happened, and on the last day, with an hour before upload time. I have backup drives, so, had it not mercifully rebooted, I could have at least posted a blog, but I would not have had the track I spent the day writing and recording:

Susie Snooze

I don’t know.

I feel as though I should be very reflective, say wise things, though I suspect these musings will form over a slow period after my re-introduction to society. In a few days I will post a blog responding to my emergence and to comments and feedback, assuming there is any. In terms of audience response I really have no idea what to expect, the possible extremes are easy to imagine, though objectivity on the subject is hard to grasp.

It has been worrying me that for the last few weeks, or perhaps even the full forty days, I have been stammeringly excited about tonight’s emergence and as such have squandered an opportunity to develop and learn. I wonder if I have failed to relish and revel in this time alone, to really find out something useful. Again, I suspect this will come clear over the next few weeks.

Of course, there is a duality to this problem. Perhaps without the hope of emergence I would have simply atrophied in depression.

I have recorded 3 hours, 59 minutes and 47 seconds of music during my spell here. It is a lot, though (again this lack of perspective) I’ve no idea of its worth as material. I suppose that, regardless of how I view it in a month’s time, it will be of a certain value to me, at very least as music to try not to make!

So, check back in a few days and I should have posted a first response. I will re-record, re-mix and (maybe) master some of the tracks (assuming I can bear to listen to them ever again) and release them as an album on Best New Fun, probably at the end of the Christmas break.

It is bizarre to think how close we are to Christmas. I feel as though I have missed a huge chunk of life, I am desperately curious to know of any developments in the world, both in a personal and a wider sense.

6 hours to go.

You’ve been a wonderful hypothetical audience, hypothetically speaking.



11 Responses to “40. Forty Blocky One Two Three”

  1. khalil Says:

    Congratulations, I am sure that you will find that this has been a seminal experience and period of your life. The Spirit cannot be forced, but it can be nurtured, and I am sure that this has been a time of deep nurturing. Love and salaams K

  2. Daoud Says:

    Congratulations! Alhamdulillah it’s a real achievement. It’s been great to have your songs and blog the last 40 days and i’m going miss them…

    I think many of the songs you have written are real masterpieces, and I’ll always listen to them and associate them with this special time.

  3. joanna hope Says:

    yes! You will be out soon! This is brilliant! I have been an avid follower. i hope you adjust all right to what it is like out here. x

  4. Ibrahim Says:

    I must say that while I’m delighted that you’ll be coming out from your isolation I am really going to miss this blog! It’s been great logging on in the evenings to find out what you’ve been up to and some of your recordings have been really fantastic – I’m looking forward to the “album”. Awesome work!

  5. jo Says:

    I will miss this dayly routine of reading and listening, but am so happy it will be replaced my a human called yaz. This has been such an amazing project, you have done so well. Great work…GREAT WORK!

  6. Jez Says:

    im gona txt you now. jam up yur phone. i reckon you’ve done great. i am very happy to listen to you.

  7. Charlie R Says:

    HAAAaaargh I JUST GOT OFF THE PHONE FROM YOU. this song probably strikes me as my favourite? one of? i’ll see you very fucking soon i hope

  8. Floela Says:

    YAS!!! Welcome to the day of the end of the cep, the beginning to your incredible existance in our ipods on our computers at our parties, an encapsulating comment for the entirety of your project, I have not felt the importance of my opinions on previous blogs but need you to know the importance of the previous blogs themselves, AMAZING!

    so very proud and humbled by the greatness of my friend wot is you! x

  9. alice Says:

    i am so proud!xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

  10. Richard Says:

    i preferred it when you were inside
    where we all go now?

    you built us up yaz, just to escape

    prison pen pal


  11. Bawwhenia Says:

    Lots of of folks talk about this subject but you wrote down some true words!!

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